TheComfortCorner | V.10

[NiightCult]

i literally never vent anywhere, to anyone about anything but god, this post thread appeared and maybe its what i need. i dont know where to begin, or how to begin, but to say im a complete mess being held together by nothing but frayed threads is an understatement. my best friend, someone i considered my family not by blood, has been actively ignoring me and destroying our 10 year friendship. she's the only true friend i've ever had, and she was the rock to my anxiety-depression-ocd ridden ways. she has problems too, but she's stronger than i. she was one of the best people i've ever known, and she did so much for me in so many ways. she saved me from myself. she was so helpful, and gave me the sort of soft tough-love i've despeately needed growing up in a pretty rough household that doesn't believe in mental illness despite our familys history with it. she got a job late novemeber, her first one, i was so proud of her for accomplishing her biggest fear. ever since then she's barely around. we do nothing anymore. we barely talk. she sends me one sentence, sometimes one word every so often, usually week-weeks apart. she doesn't ask me how i'm doing or check in on me, she doesn't even seem to care. everything we used to do together has come to a screeching halt. i'm left with no one, and nothing. no distractions from myself, left spiraling out of control. my issues got so bad it kicked my insomnia up to 11 and i barely get any sleep. im up till the middle of the day till i crash and get up sometime during the night. i'm mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. being abandoned by someone close has always been one of my biggest fears and it came true right before my eyes. i just want to talk to her again. i want to watch stupid videos and play eso together again. i miss us.

[pisto pesto pasta]

Bro. What is the point of abs if they finish auctions before the ab because «they didnt think anyone would bid @ all»? THAT IS LITERALLY so annoying because i would as well be glad to offer more than the AB but of course some dude comes up, bids a couple more dollars than the sb and the artist goes «OMGGG THANKSSS I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD BID!!»... Yes no I would have... I like ur ocs... That has happened so many times to me AND LIKE THRICE WITH THIS SPECIFIC ARTIST.. Can they PLEASE HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE OR AT LEAST STICK TO THEIR OWN AUCTION RULES??? AAAAAAAAAAAAA that is so annoying

[Moiraine]

Everything is so MUCH today. Realistically I know it's because I'm tired, unwell and feeling a little bit delicate, and none of this will seem so bad in a few days, but for the current moment I just feel awful. I can't brush things off tonight like I usually can. sigh

[♥ mizu]

ok first i wanted to say something before i vent here: i don't need gifts, this isn't like a "give me birthday gifts pls" post. i post here often and, even though i REALLY appreciate gifts and people cheering me up, i keep getting giftbombed and it's making me feel guilty 😭😭 if you REALLY want to you can but there are so many other people who i'm sure would benefit more

such an eh day. started out awful, ended a bit less awful. but sooo many ups and downs. it's my birthday. i never look forward to them because i don't want to disappoint myself, even though i always secretly hope they go nicely. i can't remember i time where i didn't cry on my birthday. maybe when i was 7, but after that all conscious memories of my birthday are pretty negative. i don't know why. i think it's the societal expectation that people should treat you well, even though they have no reason to.

my dad told me last night that he booked a reservation at a restaurant, whatever. ok. he never asked me if i wanted to go there and i've never expressed interest in it. and the whole time him and my mom were talking about how great it was to go and how special it was to them and how much they're looking forward to it. they didn't freaking care at all about what i wanted. they used my special day as an excuse to go to somewhere special.

so this morning i tried to bring it up politely with my dad. but he got so incredibly angry. he said i was "vile" and "such an ungrateful person". this isn't that uncommon for him to say - but on my birthday it hit so different and i just couldn't hold it in. i completely broke down on the way there (with him in the car) and had to go to my school counselors for consolation. my friend was there, she helped me. but my other friends were wondering where i was. got lots of dms. i almost didn't go to class because i was shaking and hyperventilating in the stairwell. my eyes were bright red (which didn't look good 'cause my eyes are green. i looked like i was on something)

so, after lunch, i invited a few of my friends to go to talk about it. i've never done this with most of them so it felt very intimate but.. i wanted to. it felt right. i guess. anyways one of my friends who i don't like anyway and i've complained about her specifically on here walked in and saw us and just left. she is also one who dmed me but i don't feel that intimate connection with her and i also know she talks a lot. so i didn't want to include her.

anyway now she's angry and sad or whatever and is throwing a tantrum and is being rude as heck on snapchat. like this is so petty. all of my friend group thinks she's being immature. the entire school dislikes her, really - it's understandable.

i just.. i had an ok day. my friends gave me handmade bracelets, paintings, etc. etc. and they were kind. but my parents and this one girl were absolutely awful and it makes me sad. my parents didn't give me a single thing, just like during christmas. i was looking forward to maybe my birthday being special with my family but it wasn't. and that breaks my heart. i've cried so much about it. also my cycle started TODAY out of the blue (stress, probably) and it hurts which is weird because i usually never feel pain. but whatever i'm just sad. bad day

[Jarex]

can't believe someone completely random cares about me more than my own family

[67Phlox]

I keep wanting to complain. Is that all I can do? Complete and utter nonsense.
Needless to say, I will remain mad at myself for the time being.
Ego death needed.

[effie]

snip

[mewcie]

wish i could learn how to stop being so annoying to everyone all the time

just stop talking. all i have to do is stop talking. even as a kid i tried to do this id go to school and say to myself i wont talk the whole day like (classmates name) does because nobody really wanted to listen to me and she was perfect and quiet and so sweet and everything that im not but id fail every single time. because i will always be annoying and frustrating and unlovable and i will always hate myself for things i could change but im too stupid to even know where to begin with change . can i rip away everything i am and become someone completely new? or nobody at all?

[vi‎ ‎]

x

[Snickers104]

I feel like I'm not being a good friend to any of my friends. I go hang out with the ones from school every once in a while, and it's really fun when we do, but then for some reason I feel jealous when they hang out with other friends. Then my friend that isn't at school is so busy that I barely get to see her, she's been my best friend my whole life and she says we still are, but I feel like I'm not there enough for her because she's going through a really tough time right now. So I've tried to more for all my friends, but then I feel like I'm being annoying. I feel like I don't really know how to be a good friend. Like I'm never doing any of it right, you know?